


Se/f Ref/ection.mp4

by Little_King



Category: FriendSim - Fandom, Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Memories, Recording, post-route, self reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 13:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17623139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_King/pseuds/Little_King
Summary: A wipe after Tegiri encountered and spent time with the 'human' alien he begins to question his.. well, ways of thinking. Since he really doesn't have anyone to talk to since what he says could potentially condemned, he decides to record himself talking about the topic in specific.





	Se/f Ref/ection.mp4

***CLICK***

 

'' Is- is this on? Oh, okay good. ''

  
Tegiri positioned himself. He seemed to be sitting at his desk, recording himself. His jacket was removed as well as his hat. He just seemed like he was being a normal troll at home.   


 

'' Right, we// uh.. I don't norma//y do this but.. I suppose now is a better time than ever since I'm in the mood for it unfortunate/y. ''

  
He sighed as he leaned back in his chair a little, a small pause coming as he thought of what to say. Before speaking, a familiar lusus trotted over, giving him a small bark before resting his head on one of his legs.

 

‘’ Ah- he//o Tadashi. Joining me, hm? ‘'

 

He chuckled a little before looking at the camera again.

  
'' A/right we// I shou/dn’t sta// about this topic, as it is causing me to zone out quite a /ot as we// as overthink certain things. I’// get straight to the point.. I'm starting to have doubts about my.. my /ife I suppose? Doubts as in.. my mora/ code and such. What I define as right and wrong by the /ega/ and justice system in genera/. I'm having doubts, which is unusua/. ''

  
He bit his lip slightly, bringing his hand to Tadashi’s head and scritching it gently.

  
'' It's.. hard to exp/ain in words, even for me. But.. sometimes doing something that the justice system considers 'right’ and ‘just’ sometimes fee/s.. off. At /east now it does. ''

  
'' It sort of makes me think back to when I encountered Po/ypa in that hive that was a/most burnt down. I saw her /usus was dead and.. by /aw I shou/d have cu//ed her, not for breaking the /aw, but for not being ab/e to /ive up to it. I was perfect/y capable of doing so too, considering both of her /egs were broken too, but.. I didn't. ''

  
He paused.

  
'' I didn't do it. I just.. cou/dn't. It didn't.. i-it didn't fee/ _right_. It fe/t immora/ and.. and.. ''

  
He stuttered a bit, sighing.

  
'' Unjust.. it fe/t unjust. It wasn't by /aw but just.. augh, I don't know. ''

  
He huffed with frustration at his own lack of words to describe it.

  
'' I can't share this video with anyone.. I know I can't. It cou/d get me cu//ed and I know it.. that fact is kind of depressing in its own way. The fact that I can't rea//y share my true fee/ings on things, even though they're just sma// thoughts  I'm not even sure how to fee/ about it yet. ”

 

“ It's so fucked up how different tro//s view each other. Even I'm margina/ized for my own persona/ity and /ikes, most tro//s are, and you just have to dea/ with it. ''

  
'' I.. am different. And I don't mean in the sense that a// tro//s are unique, I mean I'm different compared to my tea/ coworkers. I find it.. a/most difficu/t to speak to them sometimes. Granted, some are okay to ta/k to, and to/erab/e. But other times I just fee/.. a/most scared to ta/k to them? Again, it's difficu/t to describe.. ''

  
He paused, taking in another breath.

  
“ I suppose it's a fear. But a strange one. One of being.. embarrassed? No.. mocked? Si/ent/y.. something /ike that. “

 

“ ..it's easier to ta/k to purrbeasts. They don't ta/k back and they don't judge you. They can sme// emotions too, so if you're fee/ing down then they’// come over and comfort you in some way. Or, we//, if they trust or care about you that is. Barkbeasts are the same, both species have an incredab/e sense of sme//. “

 

He smiled a little as he ranted about these facts, petting Tadashi a little more as he glanced down at him then looking back at the camera.

 

“ Ah- I'm getting a /itt/e off topic, my apo/ogies. You get the idea though.. creatures or /usii are genera//y easier to ta/k to because of their.. lack to verba//y respond. “

 

‘’ I did mention before that they can sme// emotions, so you don’t have to awkward/y te// them you need comfort. They’re just.. there. which.. which is good. It’s a/ways awkward for me to just go up to someone /ike.. /ike Po/ypa and outward/y admit I’m not fee/ing the best. So,, a /usus just knowing is.. Reassuring. It’s nice. ‘’

 

He opened his mouth to continue rambling on before cutting himself off.

 

‘’ I’m ramb/ing again aren’t I. Hah.. this a// probab/y seems out of nowhere too. It.. it wasn’t just a gut fee/ing that got me thinking different/y. I met this a/ien recent/y.. Their species is known as ‘human’ as they’ve to/d me. ‘’

 

He paused for a moment to think of what to say, looking down at Tadashi and he gently pet his head, ruffling his fur with a smile. After a moment's pause he looked back up at the camera.

 

‘’ I met them around.. /ast wipe? At first I found them quite strange but unique. They /iked the animated arts too! What happened that night was I invited them a/ong to a /oca/ store that se//s a /ot of manga and Eastern A/ternian re/ated items. I was going to figure out why they so/d me the incorrect copy of Schoo/-fed Heroism but, thanks to that human who c/umsi/y bumped into another tro// carrying a box of DVDs, caught sight of an anime, and not just any anime, a copy of a certain animated art that depicted nonstandard hemo/ogica/ attributes as we// as presenting positive action against the state, and, /ike any tea/b/ood that can grasp the justice system and it’s importance shou/d do, tried to execute the store owner, despite me being in good terms with them, for importing and trying to se// a contraband item. But.. something happened. ‘’

 

He paused for a moment to inhale after rambling about the situation.

 

‘’ As I was about to attack the owner and de/iver death to a tro// that c/ear/y broke the /aw, the human.. Stopped me. ‘’

 

‘’ What they said was.. Odd. It was worded /ike pity but sounded /ike empathy.. how they said it was.. new? To my ears anyway. They ramb/ed on about friendship and forgiveness. It sounded so much /ike pity but they said it in a way that.. Made me want to agree with them? P/us they mentioned when the owner was dead the store wou/d c/ose, and it IS one of my favorite stores.. ‘’

 

He paused again, still struggling slightly to find the words to describe all of this.

 

‘’ I’// admit I was stubborn at first, I may have shoved the a/ien. I was going to attack again but.. Hesitated. The /ast time I remember hesitating was with Po/ypa.. ‘’

 

‘’ And I.. didn’t do it. Shrugged it off as a ‘I’m in a good mood’ sort of dea/, which was true in a sense. It’s just perp/exing how that a/ien managed to make me stride from the /aw to protect a random tro//’s sou/ so easi/y. The a/ien definite/y has a much different cu/ture than us tro//s, that's for sure. “

 

He ruffled Tadashi’s fur a little again, just absent-mindedly fidgeting with his fur at this point.

 

“ I guess my point is that I fee/ /ike my views on justice and such are s/ow/y being a/tered and I.. don't quite know what to think of it rea//y. But.. I /earn a /ot of what I know from the animated arts and the /aw books of course. This human just.. had an effect I guess. It's odd. And there's a/so the fa- “

 

His voice was cut off at the sound of a knock on the door, admittedly making Tegiri jump in surprise. What followed was a familiar voice. 

 

“ HEY TEGS* IT'S POLYPA* “

 

Tadashi let out a bark of glee, getting his head off of Tegiri lap as he rushed over to the door to greet the oliveblood, scratching at the door in anticipation, then looking back at Tegiri, letting out a ruff.

 

“ Shoot- right, today is anime c/ub day. I better /et her in- I'// continue this, uh sometime. No idea when. But that being said- “

 

“ giriiiii* cmon im freezing out here* “

 

“ Coming! Right- heading off now, seeya. “

 

***CLICK***


End file.
